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Someone Has Read The Script For '2012' And It SUCKS!

I'm still baffled as to why Roland Emmerich continues to receive funding for the silly disaster/end of world movies he continues to make. That's almost all he's ever done, from Independence Day, to Godzilla, to The Day After Tomorrow, to this year's 10,000 B.C., and the upcoming 2012.

It's not as if these films are critically acclaimed nor are they always box office champs - Independence Day aside (still a ridiculous excercise IMHO). Yet, he keeps coming up with scenarios that in the conception stage might seem intriguing, but once executed tend to stink; and studios keep giving him money to produce them - in most cases, lots and lots of money, often more than $100 Million budgets! He's like an "expensive" version of his fellow German schlock director, Uwe Boll (the self-proclaimed "fucking genius" director of such classics as BloodRayne (1, 2 & 3), Alone In The Dark (1 & 2), and Postal.

Neither of these gentlemen seems to know much about subtlety and restraint.

Emmerich has sured up his cast for his next end-of-the-world/disaster epic, titled 2012, which I mentioned in
THIS POST - a cast that includes Danny Glover as the president of the USA (President Wilson in the script), Thandie Newton as his daughter (Laura in the script), and Chiwetel Ejiofor (not sure what his role is). And, by the way, its budget is listed at $200 Million!!
The film's title should clue you in as to what Emmerich's script might be drawing from. If not,
CLICK HERE and catch up!

The good folks at Latino Review posted a spoiler-filled review of Emmerich's 2012 script. Not sure how they got their hands on it, but this won't be the first time they've cracked open a story like this, which is why stalwart periodical sites like Variety and The Hollywood Reporter are in for the fight of their lives!

Anyway, in a nutshell, the script SUCKS! What a surprise! Here are a few snippets:

- Who knew the end of the world could be so predictable? This is an almost completely by-the-numbers disaster movie, featuring all the requisite dubious science, silly and implausible set-pieces, narrative clich├ęs, broad, one-dimensional characters, and heavy handed attempts at emotion and morals that one would expect from the genre.

- The script barely even hints at the details or origins of any of the real theories about 2012, suggesting that the association is mainly here just to cash in on a trend. Instead, Emmerich and co-writers Harold Kloser and Matt Charman shoehorn in several brief but glaringly awkward attempts at political commentary and even what could be construed by some as a few baffling jabs at religion. And of course everything leads to an unbearably neat and happy ending, despite the fact that the film is about the vast majority of the world’s population being wiped out.

I am SHOCKED!!! :o) With a $200 Million budget, I certainly hope Danny Glover, Thandie Newton and Chiwetel got PAID for this! Danny might need the money for that Toussaint Louverture bio-pic he's been working on for some time now, which, by the way, also co-stars Chiwetel.

Read the entire piece


  1. Anonymous said...

    Uwe Boll...lolol. Every time I see his name now I chuckle. He's funny as hell...a legend in his own mind. Classic:BloodRayne...that's an oxymoron if I've ever seen one. Sarcastic much?

    Speaking of world disaster flicks...Have you seen Cloverfield? I thought it was pretty good...fresh, original. Check it when time allows. Then again, you probably have already.

    - P

  2. The Obenson Report said...

    His name alone makes me chuckle... or maybe it's just the way he pronounces it. And yup, I saw Cloverfield opening night :o) Despite the sometimes nauseating camera work, I enjoyed it! As you said, mos def fresh and original. I'm surprised it actually got made given how Hwood is averse to taking risks. I actually need to buy the DVD set. I hear it's packed full of extra features.

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