SIGH - Few Words On The Chris Brown/Rihanna Fiasco
I'm sure most of you have been following the trials and tribulations of teenybopper heartthrob Chris Brown, and the victim on the receiving end of his immature displays of masculinity, songstress Rihanna.
Given all that I've heard and read about the matter, I just had to say one thing: I'm really, REALLY disturbed by the onslaught of support Chris Brown has received, and from whom that support has been coming from - his fan base of young girls in their teens, mostly African American, showing a perplexing tolerance for Brown's behavior, while blaming Rihanna for the incident, and in some cases, doing so quite harshly!
What's that about? Did they not read the same reports that I read? Major contusions on both sides of Rihanna's face, with serious swelling and bruising... a split lip and a bloody nose... bite marks on one of her arms and several fingers... strangulation until near unconsciousness?
What exactly could she have done to make him think that it's OK to do all that to her?
And, maybe more importantly, what's going on in the minds of these young girls who think that this kind of behavior is actually justified?
If one of these girls was my child, I would be deeply concerned! As they age, if they become victims of domestic abuse, from a boyfriend/husband/whatever, will they blame themselves too? Are we witnessing a potential pattern here?
Frankly, I follow the careers of Chris Brown and Rihanna about as much as my grandmother showed interest in De La Soul and Eric & Rakim when I was in high school years ago - not at all! But, given the publicity that this matter has received and continues to receive, I think it's as good an opportunity as any to teach some important life lessons to young girls like those I talked about above, as well as young boys who envision themselves Chris Brown simulacrums.
This is certainly not the first time that something like this has happened, and it certainly won't be the last! And hearing a 14-year old girl say, "it's Rihanna's fault," is indicative of just how woven into the consciousness of a people this kind of abuse is, so much that it's generally accepted as the norm.
You know, I thought I was the only black person in the world who thought this was crazy... the support for Chris Brown's actions, that is!
What the...! Granted, I only actually heard of Chris Brown last December when a friend said that, as Christmas gifts, she was fast-tracking her way into best/coolest auntie history by getting her teenage nieces tickets to his forthcoming (or not) London concert. But you know how it is, one minute you don't know about something or someone, and the next thing they're all over the news!
The amount of support he's getting is alarming, but it's not just from young people! I read, a few days ago on Facebook, the account of a friend in his 30s who tried to give a logical account of what might have happened...! I was about to comment and then just gave up when my computer didn't cooperate. I'm learning to read the signs of when to let things go...
But it's really, really, sad to hear African-Americans coming out in support of such aggression against a young black woman. Reminds me of when Tyson was accused of raping that young woman some years back. And tell me, if Rhianna had been treated the same way by a young white pop star, would the response have been the same or would Messrs Jackson and Sharpton be up in arms right now, an angry black mob behind them?
Black girls and women deserve love, support and respect too... and the sooner black men AND women start to realise this, the better.
I don't get it either. When someone has to go to the hospital because of another person's bad temper it's not a good thing! I pray that Rihanna and Chris Brown will have the strength to get out of the sick cycle and find true healing. And that goes for anyone who is in a similar situation. Please just walk away! Run away if you have to! Find a church, something.
Sad. Wendy is quite right to point out the deafening silence of Sharpton and Jackson. Their lack of response to any horror visited upon blacks by blacks speaks volumes about why they can't be totally taken seriously.
We shouldn't be surprised. Patriarchy is going strong and when that collides with the religious adoration we bestow on celebrities (even celebs of Brown's minor status) the outcome is inevitable.
And perhaps this is another example of that tried-and-true defense mechanism black women on talk shows always seem to use: blame the victim. Its as if these girls would crack if they had to really face the truth about a man like Brown so it's easier to tell themselves he would treat them differently than Rihanna who must've brought it on her self.
I think all women do this (recall the response of women of all hues to Monica Lewinsky 10 years ago) but I have noticed that many black women engage in this kind of thing routinely. I say, many, NOT ALL.
Feminism needs a rebranding and a reboot. I always ask my students whether they are feminists and none of them, not even the college bound girls, raise their hands. When you ask if they believe men and women are equals and should be treated as such, then they all raise their hands. But somehow the word feminism has come to mean lesbianism and man-hating, and that's a problem.
hmm
where to begin? well as far as sharpton and them i think if maybe just maybe that if all the facts were out they may have something to say. then again tupac, biggie, etc...
ok a lot of these young blacks girls are just saying rude remarks b/c they are so starstruck loving chris brown. yes in most cases the young black female mind is confused. the idea that all men cheat competes with the but he loves me even though he abuses me. i know lots of women that have been abused be it physical or emotional. these are on the platter of acceptance for women in the dating field who have been constantly messed over. sad sad sad enough to make them support chris brown. young girls are out there bad. back home they hang out at all hours of the night go to clubs trying to be sexy doing all this stuff. they are under pressure. we can't blame it all on them.
i want the facts to come out about chris and rihanna. she did not deserve to get beat up by her man.