THE OBENSON REPORT

Covering Cinema From All Across The African Diaspora
Showing posts with label Dear letter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dear letter. Show all posts

Chris Rock Wants To 'Kill The Messenger'

Posted on 10:16 AM No Comments
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And I was just about to type up a "Dear Chris Rock" letter... He's a much better stand-up comic than he is an actor/director, and should stick to what he's really good at. His last few films - especially those he wrote, directed and starred in, were terrible, culminating with the laughable homage to French New Wave artist, Eric Rohmer, in I Think I Love My Wife.

So, good for you Chris... glad to see you returning to what you do best!

From EURweb:

- Chris Rock brings his stand up back to HBO this fall with a new special shot from three different performances. Debuting Saturday, Sept. 27, "Chris Rock: Kill the Messenger" combines footage shot at South Africa's Carnival City Casino, New York's legendary Apollo Theatre and the Carling Apollo Hammersmith in London.

The rest here: 'Kill the Messenger'

Dear Quentin Tarantino...

Posted on 10:52 PM No Comments
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Nope, I didn't write this one... not this time.

From Defamer.com:


An Open Letter to Quentin Tarantino on the Occasion of His Latest Gross Overexposure

Dear Quentin Tarantino,

Before you think we're getting too carried away here, let's make it known right away that we don't do this for just anybody; it takes a special kind of affront for us to sit down and hammer out correspondence amid so much more compelling news of the day. (Like have you seen Michael Jackson recently? Holy shit, right?) But like your contemporary Paul Thomas Anderson, who so annoyed us by signing off on a There Will Be Blood DVD skimpy enough to have been a costume in Death Proof, your transgressions seem to require a little more direct attention than those of say, Brett Ratner or Uwe Boll. You're Quentin Tarantino, after all — QT! You (stole) made Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction! You are a living legend, an artist among artists, and you deserve everything that's coming to you.

Which is why we think it's time to ask you directly: When will you and Harvey Weinstein stop inflating the world's interest in Inglorious Bastards?

Read the rest here: DEAR QUENTIN TARANTINO

Dear Woody Allen...

Posted on 11:27 AM comments (14)
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Dear Woody Allen,

I know you love cinema just as much as I love cinema. You expressed it so wonderfully in several of your earlier works, like Annie Hall, Stardust Memoriesand Manhattan- all classics that even the flightiest of film lovers will agree on. So, it is with much affection and genuine concern for you when I say the following:

STOP MAKING MOVIES!!!!

Of course, I don't mean stop entirely... but rather, take a break. Enjoy your successes. You'll be 73 later this year, and as callous as it may sound, you know what that means... your time is almost up! I know you must be anxious, especially as several of your idols and contemporaries have left us, especially in the last few years (Bergman and Antonioni, notably). Trust me, I felt their losses too and I'm probably just as anxious, so believe me when I say that I understand your need to make full use of your talents and your time while you still have them.

But, Woody, do you realize that you've made 1 film every year, since 1992? That's 17 films over 17 years. I don't know how the hell do you do it, but it certainly partly explains why your recent films are starting to blend into one another, looking and sounding alike, as the quality of each effort gradually declines.

It's not fun anymore Woody! In fact, it's actually becoming somewhat embarrassing. I knew it was over when, in 2003, I saw a theatrical promo for your then upcoming film, Anything Else, co-starring Christina Ricci and Jason Biggs. The studio that released the film obviously thought it best to not include you in the trailer, since you weren't anywhere to be found in it, even though you were the star of the film. Instead, we got shots of both Ricci and Biggs in various scenes, leading anyone watching the trailer to believe that you weren’t in the film. And they also didn't even put your name on the title marquee! That was rather sad Woody! How could you let them do that to you? You're Woody Allen - well-respected filmmaker of several award-winning and/or critically acclaimed films. They can't do that to you - make you disappear from your own film! But they did! And I felt so bad for you then Woody. You used to be able to get your way, but it looks like your value isn't quite what it used to be.

Listen... dude... you've made 44 films in 42 years! That means there were a couple of years there when you made 2 in a year! Let me repeat that - 44 films in 42 years! And a lot of them are unbelievably similar in terms of style and theme - you (or a replica of your usually neurotic self) waxing philosophic on male/female relationships, God, death, and Freud. And now I hear you're tackling lesbian relationships in your next film! I'd like to say that I'm intrigued by this, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't doubtful of the outcome... but I'm hopeful.

In comparison, the late, great Stanley Kubrick made just 14 feature films in 46 years, about a third of your output! But the man and his films, even the least appreciated of them, left an indelible mark on the face of cinema. We can all learn something from him, I think.

In closing... you know I love you Woody! Several of your films sit comfortably in my fledgling DVD library. I've seen Annie Hall and Stardust Memories countless times. Husbands and Wivesis a masterpiece that will likely never age. And coincidentally, that 1992 film is the last of your works that I can say I truly, genuinely enjoyed and appreciated. Since then, it's been a rather questionable run! And according to your IMDB page, you're continuing your prolific trend with releases each year, for the next 2 years... tut-tut-tut. You're apparently not listening! Do yourself a favor Woody... take a few years off... you might surprise yourself and return with some new perspectives on the process. I think you and your films will be better for it. Trust me! Maybe consider directing someone else's script, even if it's just for sheer variety... after all, it is the spice of life.

Your friend,

Tambay

Dear Will Ferrell...

Posted on 7:55 PM comments (3)
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Dear Will Ferrell,

You're nowhere near as funny as you seem to think you are.

Your overgrown frat boy shtick has long worn out its welcome.

Sticking your hands underneath your armpits and making offensive sounds was mildly humorous in the 7th grade.

Enough with the short shorts and tight shirts showing us your pasty, hairy parts.

Leave the funky hairstyles alone.

Jerry Lewis put the physical slapstick humor bit to bed a long time ago, even though Jim Carrey did his best to assume the throne.

Your "cowbell" skit on SNL in 2000 is probably the funniest thing you've ever done - although Christopher Walken's presence certainly helped tremendously!

Go away Will Ferrell!! You don't have to disappear entirely, but do yourself a favor and take some years off... rethink your career strategy.

You took a somewhat surprising, albeit welcomed turn with Stranger Than Fiction in 2006, but then quickly made us forget with the unfortunate trifecta of Talladega Nights, Blades of Glory, and Semi-Pro, in succession.

I say all this out of concern for you and your future... really!!

You seem like a likable guy, although we've never met.

And I'm sure you're simply trying to earn a decent living like the rest of us. I'm ok with that as well.

However, I thought the exact same things about Jim Carrey several years ago, during his Ace Ventura/The Mask period.

Once a guaranteed box office draw, he unfortunately can't claim that title anymore.

So, learn from Jim, I implore you; or in a few years, possibly less, you'll become THAT guy who made THAT movie; or even worse, THAT guy from SNL; and you'll be relegated to starring in commercials that only air on Saturday mornings on the cartoon channel.

In closing, I do hope that you're saving a significant portion of your million dollar (or more) paychecks... you know... just incase :o)

Your friend in spirit,

Tambay

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